Alright, hey everybody, Shelly here, and welcome to my first post (exciting business.) Now, you came here for awkwardness, and so be it. I thought I would start this party off with a quick anecdote.
To begin, let me share with you a quick tip for getting the girls (I am highly skilled in this area...obviously.) I call this flirtacious mastermind method the "Slip them a note and run away like a pansy" move (the run away like a pansy part is only optional, it's just an added touch I always like to include.) It basically entails writing a note (Ex: "Hey, Coffee sometime?") on a napkin, or something of sorts, sliding it over to the other person nonchalantly (key: nonchalantly), and making a smooth getaway. The perfect plan for people lacking in the balls department.
Now, there was a cute girl working at my most frequented sandwich shop. With courage and vigor, I ordered a sandwich from her. It went something like this:
Her: Hey, what would you like on your sub?
Me: Ahhh, let's see. Can I get some lettuce..... tomatoes.... cucumbers..... this is for youuuuuu *slides note across the countertop*.... pickles.....
Her: ...
Me: A little bit of mustard.... mayonaise.....
Yeah, so, awkward city. I told her to keep the change and I booked it out of the shop.
To make things funnier, the last girl I tried the"Slip them a note and run away like a pansy" move on (which also failed miserably, in case you were wondering) was standing right behind me in the line-up. She sent me over a text saying, "I saw what you just did there!" At least she's pretty cool, we laughed about it.
Sooooo.... maybe it's not the beeeeessssttt move. Eh, take from this story what you will.
Shelly, over and out!
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